1 00:02:08,561 --> 00:02:11,621 Nash, that covers about everything. You have your instructions and your credentials. 2 00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:15,464 Yes. They're all in here. I'd better get my tickets. 3 00:02:15,535 --> 00:02:17,901 If Dr. Wong's invention is half as good as he claims, 4 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:20,235 the manufacturing rights will be worth millions. 5 00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:22,536 The American Electric Company can't afford to lose out. 6 00:02:22,609 --> 00:02:26,340 Yes, sir. No, sir. 7 00:02:26,412 --> 00:02:30,178 I'm new in China. You had three years in the consular service. 8 00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:33,276 You know the country, the language and the manner of doing business here. 9 00:02:33,353 --> 00:02:35,446 That's why I'm sending you in my place. 10 00:02:35,522 --> 00:02:38,719 Considering everything, I'm sure you'll represent the company better than I. 11 00:02:38,791 --> 00:02:41,259 Well, I can die trying, sir. “Die“? 12 00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:43,557 You're not sick, are you? Oh, no, sir. 13 00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:46,622 Didn't I hear something about your being sick the day before your wedding? 14 00:02:46,699 --> 00:02:50,635 Yeah. It-- It happened twice. That's why I didn't get married. 15 00:02:50,703 --> 00:02:53,399 Carol-- Um, Miss Fortescue felt-- 16 00:02:53,473 --> 00:02:56,033 Well, you can imagine how she felt. 17 00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:58,100 Yeah. You see-- 18 00:02:59,379 --> 00:03:04,112 Discouraged. Yes. So I resigned and went to America to the finest specialists. 19 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,175 Well, they get you all cleaned out all right? 20 00:03:06,252 --> 00:03:08,243 Every nickel. That's fine. 21 00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:11,017 Well, good-bye, Nash. Good-bye. 22 00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:13,388 Sorry, madam. There are no trains to Wu-Hu. 23 00:03:13,459 --> 00:03:16,860 You said that three or four times. I must get there. 24 00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:20,366 It's very important for me. Money's no object. 25 00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:22,958 Madam, if I owned the rail road, I'd give you a train. 26 00:03:23,036 --> 00:03:26,233 But a bridge has washed out, and our engines can't swim. 27 00:03:26,306 --> 00:03:29,139 - Wu-Hu. - I beg your pardon? 28 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:32,178 A compartment to Wu-Hu, please. Sorry. There's been an accident on the line. 29 00:03:32,245 --> 00:03:34,179 Accident? Yes, sir. 30 00:03:34,247 --> 00:03:36,807 Do you know whether Sir Mortimer Fortescue and his daughter-- 31 00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,215 Their train was the last one to get through, sir. 32 00:03:39,285 --> 00:03:43,585 Oh, that's fine. It looks as though I'll have to try and make it in my car. 33 00:03:43,656 --> 00:03:46,216 It's a hard, long trip, sir. Don't I know it. 34 00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:57,059 Excuse me. 35 00:04:00,106 --> 00:04:02,097 Pardon me. 36 00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:13,346 Do you mind? Oh. 37 00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:15,717 That's all right. 38 00:04:15,788 --> 00:04:18,780 Aren't you the gentleman who's driving to Wu-Hu? Yes. 39 00:04:18,858 --> 00:04:20,792 I'm most anxious to go myself. 40 00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:23,852 I mean, wouldn't you take me along? 41 00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:27,263 I'm afraid not. It's no trip for a girl. 42 00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:30,063 Bad roads and the desert. 43 00:04:30,136 --> 00:04:33,264 That sounds interesting. It isn't. 44 00:04:33,339 --> 00:04:35,273 I couldn't take the responsibility. 45 00:04:35,341 --> 00:04:37,332 I'll take the responsibility. 46 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,213 Pardon me just a moment. 47 00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:51,149 You forgot to sign it. Sign it “American Electric Company.“ 48 00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:53,385 Couldn't you possibly take me with you? 49 00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:56,360 Yes, but-- No. 50 00:04:56,429 --> 00:04:59,887 Won't you change your mind? It's a 24-hour trip. 51 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:04,164 That's only a day. A day and-- and a night. 52 00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:07,263 I'm not afraid of the dark. Are you? 53 00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:10,639 No. I'm afraid of what might happen in it. 54 00:05:10,710 --> 00:05:13,270 Whoo-hoo. Whoo-hoo. 55 00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:18,309 Wu-Hu! Wu-Hu! 56 00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:20,511 Daily Mail' Wu-Hu! 57 00:05:20,586 --> 00:05:22,918 Wu-Hu! Wu-Hu! 58 00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:25,549 I haven't seen so many big shots since the peace conference. 59 00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:30,392 That guy's invention must be plenty hot to drag us from all over the world like this. 60 00:05:36,536 --> 00:05:38,766 How do you do? Who? 61 00:05:38,838 --> 00:05:41,864 You, sir. How do you do? 62 00:05:41,941 --> 00:05:44,273 You're Sir Mortimer Fortescue of Shanghai, are you not? 63 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,278 You're mistaken. I am. 64 00:05:49,482 --> 00:05:53,043 - What is your opinion of Dr. Wong? - Wong? 65 00:05:53,119 --> 00:05:56,418 The man you came here to see. See? About what? 66 00:05:56,489 --> 00:05:59,083 About his invention. Oh, yes. 67 00:05:59,158 --> 00:06:02,685 What is your opinion of his invention? Absolutely worthless. 68 00:06:02,762 --> 00:06:05,230 The invention? No. My opinion. 69 00:06:06,432 --> 00:06:09,458 Come on, Daddy. 70 00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:18,308 Good afternoon, sir. Did you have a nice trip? 71 00:06:18,378 --> 00:06:20,903 I always have a nice trip. You are-- 72 00:06:20,980 --> 00:06:24,472 General Nicholas Baronosky Petronovich. 73 00:06:25,952 --> 00:06:29,479 Formerly of the Russian Imperial Guard. 74 00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:32,581 At present, general manager of the Moscow Utilities Company. 75 00:06:32,658 --> 00:06:35,456 Are you interested in Dr. Wong's new invention? 76 00:06:35,528 --> 00:06:39,089 I am here to buy the rights for my company. 77 00:06:42,702 --> 00:06:44,897 Who's that bird? 78 00:06:44,971 --> 00:06:47,906 Must be Herr von Baden of the Berlin Lens and Optical Company. 79 00:06:59,285 --> 00:07:01,219 Would you say a few words, please? 80 00:07:01,287 --> 00:07:05,087 No, no, no, no. No, no. In English, please. 81 00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:07,854 In German or in English-- out of the way! I have business. 82 00:07:09,495 --> 00:07:11,429 Skittish. Very skittish. 83 00:07:11,497 --> 00:07:14,489 Yeah, and just a wee bit squirrelly too. 84 00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:25,108 Dr. Bums! Dr. Bums! 85 00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:27,169 Dr. Burns! 86 00:07:29,248 --> 00:07:31,910 Man inside, him very sick. 87 00:07:31,984 --> 00:07:34,316 I take you. 88 00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:37,515 What's the matter? Oh, Doctor, I'm sick. 89 00:07:37,590 --> 00:07:39,956 I cannot “up-standing“ straight. You can't what? 90 00:07:40,026 --> 00:07:43,189 I cannot up-standing straight. Well, let me see. 91 00:07:43,262 --> 00:07:45,662 Uh-- Oh, look. Your-- 92 00:07:45,731 --> 00:07:47,699 Look. Your vest is buttoned to your trousers. 93 00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:49,826 Ah! 94 00:07:49,902 --> 00:07:52,336 Oh, thank you, Doctor. 95 00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:54,600 Ah! Thank you. 96 00:07:54,674 --> 00:07:56,335 This is the hotel manager. 97 00:07:58,511 --> 00:08:01,344 Dr. Wong. 98 00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:03,939 Dr. Wong. 99 00:08:04,016 --> 00:08:06,007 Dr. Wong, I have a telegram for you. 100 00:08:06,085 --> 00:08:09,577 I'm afraid I have a short circuit in my transformer. 101 00:08:09,655 --> 00:08:11,589 That's very unfortunate, I'm sure. 102 00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:13,955 But, uh, how about this telegram? 103 00:08:14,026 --> 00:08:18,929 Ah, right. There is a short circuit. Oh, were you saying something? 104 00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:21,660 Why, yes. I have a short circuit-- Huh? 105 00:08:21,734 --> 00:08:25,067 I mean, I have a telegram for you. Read it, please. 106 00:08:30,476 --> 00:08:34,276 “Leaving Shanghai to negotiate blonde on desert, 107 00:08:35,681 --> 00:08:38,809 “but will not take responsibility. 108 00:08:40,019 --> 00:08:42,044 “Hold everything. 109 00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:46,751 Signed, American Electric Company.“ Ah. The American representative. 110 00:08:46,826 --> 00:08:50,125 Is, uh, the telegram quite clear to you, Doctor? 111 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:53,632 Quite, quite. Clever people, these Americans. 112 00:08:53,699 --> 00:08:58,136 Always combining business with pleasure. 113 00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:01,571 Oh, uh, General Petronovich requested me to, uh, 114 00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:04,109 arrange an interview with you this afternoon. 115 00:09:04,176 --> 00:09:08,909 I will see no one until the arrival of the American representative. 116 00:09:08,981 --> 00:09:11,950 Well, I hope he'll be here in time for your demonstration. 117 00:09:12,018 --> 00:09:14,452 Thank you. And now... 118 00:09:16,389 --> 00:09:21,986 you will be the first to witness the wonders of my radioscope. 119 00:09:22,061 --> 00:09:25,656 Uh, pull those curtains, please. 120 00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:27,722 Yes, Doctor. 121 00:09:31,704 --> 00:09:35,401 Oh, Doctor, this is positively thrilling. 122 00:09:38,678 --> 00:09:41,545 I'm gooseflesh all over. 123 00:09:45,217 --> 00:09:47,583 What are you going to show me, Doctor? 124 00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:54,251 The six-day bicycle race in New York City. 125 00:09:54,327 --> 00:09:56,488 Watch closely. 126 00:09:56,562 --> 00:10:04,867 ♪ But wait till tomorrow 'ere you take-- ♪ ♪ 127 00:10:04,937 --> 00:10:07,804 Not quite synchronized. 128 00:10:07,873 --> 00:10:10,137 Seems rather, uh, mixed-up. 129 00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:13,201 Yes. 130 00:10:17,583 --> 00:10:20,814 That moo went with the cow. 131 00:10:20,886 --> 00:10:23,787 I believe that is the customary procedure. 132 00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:38,836 Professor Henry R. Quail takes off from Juarez, Mexico, 133 00:10:38,904 --> 00:10:41,930 on a secret mission, combining business with pleasure. 134 00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:58,048 Delicious. 200 pesos. 135 00:10:58,124 --> 00:11:00,092 Charge it. 136 00:11:01,093 --> 00:11:04,426 I wonder if the professor can get off the ground with that load. 137 00:11:20,312 --> 00:11:24,248 Now I will get you the six-day bicycle race. 138 00:11:24,316 --> 00:11:27,615 If the doctor will permit, a little later perhaps. 139 00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:32,283 Oh, at your pleasure. It will be going on for six days. 140 00:11:38,064 --> 00:11:40,055 Good afternoon, Doctor. Good afternoon. 141 00:11:40,132 --> 00:11:43,067 Oh, hello. Come here. 142 00:11:44,837 --> 00:11:46,771 Say, who's that? 143 00:11:46,839 --> 00:11:49,364 “Who is that?“ That's the manager of the ho-- 144 00:11:49,442 --> 00:11:51,433 Well, you wouldn't know. What difference does it make? 145 00:11:51,510 --> 00:11:53,569 Good afternoon, Doctor. Good afternoon. 146 00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:55,580 I have an invitation for you. Oh, thank you. 147 00:11:55,648 --> 00:11:58,139 Dr. Wong is going to show his radioscope on the roofgarden tonight. 148 00:11:58,217 --> 00:12:00,151 Thank you very much. Oh, goody! 149 00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:04,815 “Goody“? You're not invited. Oh, that's too bad, Doctor, because you would've enjoyed it. 150 00:12:04,890 --> 00:12:07,552 Listen, I've had enough of this. I've got a good mind to get a different nurse. 151 00:12:07,626 --> 00:12:09,787 No, no. Don't do that, Doctor. This one is different enough. 152 00:12:09,862 --> 00:12:12,194 Well, then you talk to her. Thanks. 153 00:12:12,264 --> 00:12:14,323 Do you know, you're very smart. 154 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:18,302 Yes, I know. To what do you attribute your smartness? 155 00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:20,531 Uh, three things. Three things? Oh. 156 00:12:20,606 --> 00:12:22,870 First, my very good memory. Mm. 157 00:12:22,942 --> 00:12:26,434 And the other two things, um, uh-- 158 00:12:26,512 --> 00:12:28,503 I forgot. 159 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:31,311 Look, uh, let me talk to her. Thanks. 160 00:12:31,383 --> 00:12:34,716 What the manager would like to know is, did you ever go to school? 161 00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:38,154 Oh, yes, I did. Well, what school did you go to? 162 00:12:38,224 --> 00:12:41,785 I'm not allowed to tell. You're not allowed to tell? 163 00:12:41,861 --> 00:12:44,830 The school pays me $25 a week not to tell. 164 00:12:46,198 --> 00:12:48,689 You take her. Thanks. 165 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:51,635 Did, um-- Did you ever read any books? 166 00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:53,638 Oh, of course I did. 167 00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:55,640 Did you ever read any books by Kipling? 168 00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:59,644 No. No, I never read any of his books. I like his herring though. 169 00:12:59,712 --> 00:13:02,112 Mm-hmm. Uh-- 170 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:07,378 This one is on me. 171 00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:09,387 You like Kipling's herring? Yes. 172 00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:13,050 Sometime when you have nothing to do, you must read some of Dill's pickles. 173 00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:15,593 You'd like that too. Oh, yeah?Well, I'll get it. 174 00:13:15,661 --> 00:13:19,256 Get that. This Monday, a new pickle is coming out with a blue cover. 175 00:13:19,331 --> 00:13:21,993 Oh. yeah? A mystery. huh? 176 00:13:22,067 --> 00:13:24,001 If you don't mind. 177 00:13:24,069 --> 00:13:26,003 Well. 178 00:13:26,071 --> 00:13:29,370 Uh, this one in on the house. 179 00:13:29,441 --> 00:13:32,968 You know, something must have happened to you when you were a baby. 180 00:13:33,045 --> 00:13:37,573 No. No, nothing happened to me, but something happened to my brother when he was a baby. 181 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:41,552 Oh, to your brother. Yes. My father took him for a stroll in the carriage. 182 00:13:41,620 --> 00:13:45,386 But when my father came home, he had a different baby in a different carriage. 183 00:13:45,457 --> 00:13:47,687 Different baby in a different carriage. Yes. 184 00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:51,491 What did your mother say? Oh, she didn't say anything, because it was a better carriage. 185 00:13:51,564 --> 00:13:53,498 Oh. Uh-- I'm coming. 186 00:13:53,566 --> 00:13:56,057 A better carriage, huh? 187 00:13:56,135 --> 00:14:01,038 Yes. And the baby my father brought home was a little French baby. A little French baby. 188 00:14:01,106 --> 00:14:04,269 Yes, so my mother took up French. Took up French. 189 00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:07,073 Yes. To be able to understand the baby... 190 00:14:07,146 --> 00:14:09,706 when it started to talk. When it started to talk. Yes. 191 00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:13,479 Both Humming] 192 00:14:13,552 --> 00:14:16,180 Oh, they're crazy people. 193 00:14:35,274 --> 00:14:37,265 What about these eggs? 194 00:14:37,343 --> 00:14:39,402 What about the eggs? 195 00:14:39,478 --> 00:14:41,446 Well, what about the eggs? 196 00:14:42,514 --> 00:14:44,641 Are they finished? 197 00:14:47,019 --> 00:14:49,886 They're finished. Try it again. 198 00:14:49,955 --> 00:14:53,721 Listen, when you invited me to ride-- Pardon me. You invited yourself. 199 00:14:53,792 --> 00:14:56,852 You told me we could cross this moth-eaten desert in 24 hours. 200 00:14:56,929 --> 00:14:58,920 I told you we could if we got a break. 201 00:14:58,998 --> 00:15:02,729 You got a break-- miles away from everywhere. 202 00:15:02,801 --> 00:15:06,100 And you spend half the night feeling around in the dark for nuts and bolts. 203 00:15:06,171 --> 00:15:09,231 Aw, fry an egg. 204 00:15:18,317 --> 00:15:21,013 Take your dirty hands off my lingerie. 205 00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:23,247 I'll take care of this. 206 00:15:23,322 --> 00:15:25,290 You start the engine, and hurry. 207 00:15:25,357 --> 00:15:27,291 What's your tearing hurry to get to Wu-Hu? 208 00:15:27,359 --> 00:15:29,987 Business. Business? 209 00:15:30,062 --> 00:15:34,465 Dr. Wong's invention is going to make millionaires, and I intend doing the same. 210 00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:37,802 You mean you're gonna marry a millionaire? 211 00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:40,703 I never marry anything else. Will you hurry? 212 00:15:41,907 --> 00:15:45,900 Say, if my girl ever finds out I spent a night on the desert with another girl-- 213 00:15:45,978 --> 00:15:49,106 Oh, don't tell her. She might think you're having a good time. 214 00:15:49,181 --> 00:15:52,412 “Good time.“ Lady, I wouldn't enjoy a minute of this trip... 215 00:15:52,484 --> 00:15:55,146 even if you were Peggy Hopkins Joyce. 216 00:15:55,220 --> 00:15:58,348 I am Peggy Hopkins Joyce. Huh? 217 00:16:11,236 --> 00:16:14,763 This is as far as we go. That's good news. 218 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,434 I hope you had a nice trip. Mmm. 219 00:16:17,509 --> 00:16:20,501 I hope there's a chiropractor in the hotel. 220 00:16:24,783 --> 00:16:27,411 Where's a garage? Down there. 221 00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:30,182 You catching nice A-number-one wife, mister. 222 00:16:30,255 --> 00:16:33,782 You catch 'um suitcase and do A-number-one scram. 223 00:16:36,962 --> 00:16:39,294 There are twin beds in the room at present. 224 00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:41,299 Shall I have one of them removed? 225 00:16:41,367 --> 00:16:43,961 Remove both of them. Both? 226 00:16:44,036 --> 00:16:47,164 I prefer a double bed. Don't you? 227 00:16:47,239 --> 00:16:49,571 So! Nicky. 228 00:16:49,641 --> 00:16:53,805 Your husband. No husbands at present. We're divorced. 229 00:16:53,879 --> 00:16:55,870 Didn't I get a divorce from you in Paris? 230 00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:58,439 Ah! That means nothing. 231 00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:00,712 In my country, you're still my wife. 232 00:17:00,786 --> 00:17:03,482 Oh, Nicky, darling, don't go dramatic on me. 233 00:17:03,555 --> 00:17:06,080 Everything is finished. Never. 234 00:17:06,158 --> 00:17:09,855 Any man that comes between us, 235 00:17:09,928 --> 00:17:11,862 he will be finished. 236 00:17:13,132 --> 00:17:15,066 Undoubtedly, General. 237 00:17:15,134 --> 00:17:17,762 I delivered your message to Dr. Wong. Well? 238 00:17:17,836 --> 00:17:21,897 He will talk to no one about the radioscope until after the arrival of the American representative. 239 00:17:21,974 --> 00:17:25,034 Nicky, are you interested in the radioscope? 240 00:17:25,110 --> 00:17:27,806 Interested? I'm going to buy it. 241 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:31,179 It will make millions for me. Millions? 242 00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:33,548 Oh, Nicky, darling. 243 00:17:33,619 --> 00:17:36,486 Do you wish to go to your room now, Miss Joyce? Yes, thank you. 244 00:17:36,555 --> 00:17:38,546 Come along, Nicky, dear. 245 00:17:54,039 --> 00:17:56,371 Card. Tommy. 246 00:17:56,442 --> 00:18:00,503 You've come back. I missed you every hour I was gone. 247 00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:03,173 I thought I'd never see you again. 248 00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:08,015 Well, I'm here, and you're here, and here we are. 249 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,681 It's wonderful. Marvelous. 250 00:18:13,525 --> 00:18:16,892 No, it isn't. It's disgusting. 251 00:18:16,962 --> 00:18:20,796 Carol. Carol. 252 00:18:20,866 --> 00:18:24,768 What's the matter? Ever since that day you left me waiting at the church-- 253 00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:27,806 But I had the mumps. Yes. And the other time. 254 00:18:27,873 --> 00:18:31,138 You had, what was it? The chicken pox. 255 00:18:31,210 --> 00:18:34,441 A grown man like you always breaking out in children's diseases. 256 00:18:34,513 --> 00:18:36,777 But, Carol, that's all over now. 257 00:18:36,849 --> 00:18:39,909 I visited the finest specialists in the United States. 258 00:18:39,985 --> 00:18:43,716 I've been examined, x-rayed, violet-rayed and inoculated. 259 00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:46,724 I'm 100% perfect and immune to everything. 260 00:18:46,792 --> 00:18:51,058 Tommy. I got the papers to prove it-- inoculation affidavits. 261 00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,564 Oh, Tommy, I'm so happy. Heh. 262 00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:56,430 Excusing, please, master. Your number-one wife, 263 00:18:56,502 --> 00:18:59,096 she going topside with another one man. Shh. 264 00:18:59,171 --> 00:19:01,901 Your wife? Mm, it's a mistake. 265 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:04,670 She means the girl I-- I traveled with. 266 00:19:04,743 --> 00:19:08,770 You traveled with a girl? Yes, but we're not married. 267 00:19:08,847 --> 00:19:12,078 Not married? Now, darling, you're wrong. 268 00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:15,552 It was all purely... platonic. 269 00:19:15,621 --> 00:19:19,557 Well, who is she? What's her name? Peggy Hopkins Joyce. 270 00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:23,755 And you were perfectly platonic with Peggy Hopkins Joyce. 271 00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:25,763 Now, dar-- Wait. 272 00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:27,822 Who's there? 273 00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:30,596 It-it's me. Um, Tommy Nash. 274 00:19:30,669 --> 00:19:32,864 Oh, come in, dear. 275 00:19:32,938 --> 00:19:35,736 Oh, hello. Come and sit down. 276 00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:40,434 Um, Miss Joyce, this is Carol Fortescue, 277 00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:43,003 the girl I told you about. 278 00:19:43,081 --> 00:19:45,709 I'm afraid I'm intruding. Oh, not at all. 279 00:19:45,784 --> 00:19:48,878 How do you do? How do you do? 280 00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:51,286 Um, Miss Joyce, will you tell Carol... 281 00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:56,089 that practically the only thing we did on the desert was... fight? 282 00:19:56,161 --> 00:19:59,756 Oh, so that's it. Come and sit down, won't you? 283 00:19:59,831 --> 00:20:02,959 Tommy's a very nice boy. I only annoyed him. 284 00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:05,060 He loves you very much. Why, thank you. 285 00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:08,563 Missy, him belong you? 286 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,507 Oh, Tommy, they must be yours. 287 00:20:11,577 --> 00:20:13,807 Uh, yes. 288 00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:17,280 That's funny. Very. 289 00:20:17,349 --> 00:20:20,216 Oh, Tommy. 290 00:20:20,285 --> 00:20:23,448 Oh. I'm so sorry. 291 00:20:23,522 --> 00:20:27,583 I packed these by mistake this morning in the desert. 292 00:20:27,659 --> 00:20:31,095 Why, we must have got our shorts tangled up. 293 00:20:31,163 --> 00:20:34,394 I I mean-- 294 00:20:34,466 --> 00:20:37,924 Missy, you want me washee? 295 00:20:39,404 --> 00:20:41,804 I can tell you exactly what happened. 296 00:20:41,873 --> 00:20:43,807 Don't trouble. I can imagine. 297 00:20:43,875 --> 00:20:47,436 Now, Carol-- “Purely platonic.“ 298 00:20:47,512 --> 00:20:49,503 You're gonna have to do something about this. 299 00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:53,108 I'll do my best, Tommy. Yeah. Carol! 300 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:56,854 Carol. Carol. 301 00:20:58,924 --> 00:21:02,018 Carol, darling. I love you. 302 00:21:02,094 --> 00:21:04,062 It was her suggestion. 303 00:21:04,129 --> 00:21:07,292 Why, I kept thinking of you all the time. 304 00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:10,358 Why, she can't even cook. 305 00:21:16,675 --> 00:21:20,111 Yes, really, this is Dr. Burns's office. 306 00:21:20,178 --> 00:21:22,271 No, the doctor isn't in just now. 307 00:21:22,347 --> 00:21:25,407 Oh, he won't be back for a long, long time. 308 00:21:25,484 --> 00:21:27,952 He went out on one of those “eternity“ cases. 309 00:21:28,020 --> 00:21:29,954 Yeah, all right. 310 00:21:46,538 --> 00:21:48,472 Any calls for me while I was out, Miss Allen? 311 00:21:48,540 --> 00:21:50,474 Oh, yes, Doctor. My cousin just phoned. 312 00:21:50,542 --> 00:21:53,409 He wants you to come right over. He fell off an ironing board. 313 00:21:53,478 --> 00:21:57,915 Your cousin fell off an ironing board? Yeah. He was pressing his pants, and he forgot to take 'em off. 314 00:21:57,983 --> 00:21:59,917 Read your paper and don't annoy me, Miss Allen. 315 00:22:07,759 --> 00:22:09,750 Uh, have you seen my stethoscope? 316 00:22:09,828 --> 00:22:13,662 Oh, not now, Doctor. I'll look at it later. You'll look at it later? 317 00:22:13,732 --> 00:22:19,432 Yeah. Doctor, what's the difference between a helicopter and an autogyro? 318 00:22:19,504 --> 00:22:21,665 I don't know. You can't play a helicopter. 319 00:22:21,740 --> 00:22:24,300 You can't? Well, that certainly is a surprise to me. 320 00:22:24,376 --> 00:22:26,310 I knew it would be. What are you reading? 321 00:22:26,378 --> 00:22:28,608 I'm reading about this Professor Quail. 322 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:30,671 You know, he “flown“ the ocean. He what? 323 00:22:30,749 --> 00:22:33,115 He flown the ocean. No, no, no. He didn't flown. 324 00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:35,745 You wouldn't say he has flew? He has flu? 325 00:22:35,821 --> 00:22:37,755 You could never tell it by this picture. 326 00:22:37,823 --> 00:22:40,792 Look. He has great big, fat cheeks-- Listen, Miss Allen, don't annoy me. 327 00:22:40,859 --> 00:22:42,793 I know, but, look, he has big-- Stop. 328 00:22:42,861 --> 00:22:45,728 I have a very important appendicitis case on my mind. 329 00:22:45,797 --> 00:22:48,288 Oh, yeah? My brother had appendicitis. 330 00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:50,699 It left a very bad scar on his neck. 331 00:22:50,769 --> 00:22:52,703 Appendicitis on the neck? Yeah. 332 00:22:52,771 --> 00:22:55,001 Appendicitis is on the stomach. Yeah, I know. 333 00:22:55,073 --> 00:22:57,132 But he was so ticklish, they had to operate up there. 334 00:22:57,209 --> 00:23:00,042 Yes, I see what you mean. Couldn't take it. He'd have died laughing. 335 00:23:00,112 --> 00:23:02,842 Yes. We're glad anyhow he went to the hospital. 336 00:23:02,914 --> 00:23:04,905 Now there's more room for the old woman. 337 00:23:04,983 --> 00:23:08,885 Your mother, I guess? No, no. The old woman who's been living with us for five weeks. 338 00:23:08,954 --> 00:23:11,616 Your aunt? No. We don't even know her. 339 00:23:11,690 --> 00:23:14,488 Oh. A strange old woman lives in your house, and nobody knows her. 340 00:23:14,559 --> 00:23:17,551 Yeah. My brother won her at a raffle. 341 00:23:17,629 --> 00:23:19,961 Your brother won an old woman at a raffle? 342 00:23:20,031 --> 00:23:22,591 Yeah. They ran a raffle for a poor old woman. And he won. 343 00:23:22,667 --> 00:23:24,601 And he won. I see. 344 00:23:24,669 --> 00:23:26,694 You certainly have a lot of fun home. You people live like fools. 345 00:23:26,772 --> 00:23:28,797 Yeah. You know what happened last night? What? 346 00:23:28,874 --> 00:23:32,207 Last night, in the middle of the night, my cousin woke up and gave out a big scream. 347 00:23:32,277 --> 00:23:34,211 Something happened, and she screamed right out, huh? 348 00:23:34,279 --> 00:23:36,747 She looked down at her legs, and they were all black. 349 00:23:36,815 --> 00:23:38,749 Her legs turned black? Yeah. 350 00:23:38,817 --> 00:23:41,843 What did you do? What did we do? We sent for a doctor, of course. 351 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:43,854 You sent for a doctor? Of course. 352 00:23:43,922 --> 00:23:45,856 Well, what did the doctor do? 353 00:23:45,924 --> 00:23:49,519 Well, he took off her stockings, and then we all went to sleep again. 354 00:23:49,594 --> 00:23:51,926 Ah. 355 00:23:51,997 --> 00:23:53,965 Listen, Miss Allen. You're sitting on my stethoscope. 356 00:23:54,032 --> 00:23:56,023 Yeah-- Oh, Doctor. 357 00:23:58,537 --> 00:24:00,471 Well, what are you doing? 358 00:24:00,539 --> 00:24:03,167 Oh, Doctor, I can hear my heartbeat. 359 00:24:03,241 --> 00:24:05,175 Yeah-- Ooh! 360 00:24:09,281 --> 00:24:11,272 Carol! 361 00:24:12,350 --> 00:24:14,284 You've got to listen to me. 362 00:24:14,352 --> 00:24:17,753 No, I don't. Miss Joyce has explained everything to me. 363 00:24:17,823 --> 00:24:20,314 Sweetheart. Oh. 364 00:24:20,392 --> 00:24:22,690 Let's get married today, right away. 365 00:24:22,761 --> 00:24:25,696 Won't you get sick again? Oh, there's not a chance of that. 366 00:24:25,764 --> 00:24:29,564 I'm immune. I've got papers that prove it. Never mind, dear. 367 00:24:29,634 --> 00:24:33,434 Tommy, your cheek. What's the matter? 368 00:24:33,505 --> 00:24:36,997 It's burning. Oh, I'm just excited. 369 00:24:37,075 --> 00:24:39,009 And your hands, they're cold. 370 00:24:39,077 --> 00:24:41,477 Oh, Tommy, you're not going to get sick again? 371 00:24:41,546 --> 00:24:43,810 Aw, not a chance. I have papers that-- 372 00:24:43,882 --> 00:24:46,214 Pardon me, but I happen to be the house physician. 373 00:24:46,284 --> 00:24:50,050 Well, I have papers that prove-- I know, I know. Let me see your tongue. 374 00:24:50,121 --> 00:24:52,282 Um, say “Ah.“ Aw-- 375 00:24:52,357 --> 00:24:54,917 No, no. Not “Aw.“ Say “Ah.“ 376 00:24:54,993 --> 00:24:57,587 Ah. Mm. I thought so. 377 00:24:57,662 --> 00:25:02,463 Aw, now listen, Doctor. I've got-- I know. Measles young man. Measles. 378 00:25:02,534 --> 00:25:05,594 I'll get my nurse. Miss Allen. Miss Allen. 379 00:25:07,806 --> 00:25:09,933 Miss Allen. Miss Allen. Yes? 380 00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:13,466 There's a man outside with a rash. With a rash? Is it this year's model? 381 00:25:13,545 --> 00:25:15,536 With freewheeling and floating power? 382 00:25:15,614 --> 00:25:18,845 Or is it last year's-- No. It's a coupé. You know what a coupé is. 383 00:25:18,917 --> 00:25:22,512 Oh, sure. My father's got one. Only he parts his in the middle. 384 00:25:22,587 --> 00:25:26,990 He parts a cou-- There's a man outside with a rash in the rotunda. 385 00:25:27,058 --> 00:25:29,925 Well, it certainly takes all kinds of people to make a world. 386 00:25:29,995 --> 00:25:32,361 Don't you think so? I think so. 387 00:25:33,598 --> 00:25:36,795 Measles! I had them when I was three years old. 388 00:25:36,868 --> 00:25:40,463 It can't be the measles. I'm immune. You're impossible. 389 00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:42,473 Now, Carol-- Miss Allen, this is the patient. 390 00:25:42,541 --> 00:25:45,635 Undress him and put him to bed. Oh, Doctor. 391 00:25:45,710 --> 00:25:48,907 But, Doctor, I can't go to bed. I'm not married yet. 392 00:25:48,980 --> 00:25:52,040 Undress him and put him to bed. Oh, at his age. 393 00:25:52,117 --> 00:25:54,210 - Listen. - Carol, sweetheart-- 394 00:25:54,286 --> 00:25:56,777 Tommy, don't you see? We'll never be married. 395 00:25:56,855 --> 00:26:00,154 You-- You just can't stand the strain. 396 00:26:00,225 --> 00:26:02,159 But, Carol, I can-- Come here. Take him. 397 00:26:02,227 --> 00:26:05,993 Listen-- Oh, I love to hear of people getting married. 398 00:26:06,064 --> 00:26:08,464 You know, I had a wire from my sister today. 399 00:26:08,533 --> 00:26:11,024 She has a brand-new little baby. 400 00:26:11,102 --> 00:26:13,036 She's married, you know. She's married. 401 00:26:13,104 --> 00:26:15,197 Yeah. Oh. Is it a little girl or a boy? 402 00:26:15,273 --> 00:26:19,573 Well, I don't know yet, and I'm dying to find out whether I'm an uncle or an aunt. 403 00:26:20,579 --> 00:26:24,015 Hey. Hey, listen, Doctor. You've got my hat. 404 00:26:25,383 --> 00:26:27,317 Nash-- the American representative. 405 00:26:29,621 --> 00:26:33,614 Serge, I have an idea. 406 00:26:33,692 --> 00:26:36,024 Where is the office of the health inspector? 407 00:26:36,094 --> 00:26:39,723 Are we going to talk to him? I myself will talk to him. 408 00:26:39,798 --> 00:26:43,859 This American has a contagious disease, 409 00:26:43,935 --> 00:26:47,371 so Inspector Sun should be notified at once. 410 00:27:07,859 --> 00:27:10,123 Ladies and gentlemen, 411 00:27:10,195 --> 00:27:13,130 for your pleasure, we will present our dancing girls, 412 00:27:13,198 --> 00:27:16,725 who will give you pleasure in a novelty number, 413 00:27:16,801 --> 00:27:19,031 which I hope will give you pleasure. 414 00:27:27,245 --> 00:27:29,509 ♪ She was a China teacup ♪ 415 00:27:29,581 --> 00:27:31,913 ♪ And he was a coffee mug ♪ 416 00:27:31,983 --> 00:27:37,216 ♪ When he would see that teacup it gave his heart a tug ♪ 417 00:27:37,288 --> 00:27:41,554 ♪ She was a-way above him high up on another shelf ♪ 418 00:27:41,626 --> 00:27:45,995 ♪ Still, he was sure she'd love him if he declared himself ♪ 419 00:27:46,064 --> 00:27:50,899 ♪ So, one day on the table he was at her side by chance ♪ 420 00:27:50,969 --> 00:27:55,633 ♪ He seized this opportunity to start his big romance ♪ 421 00:27:55,707 --> 00:28:00,872 ♪ But when he began to speak up she gave him a nasty shrug ♪ 422 00:28:00,945 --> 00:28:06,542 ♪ For she was a China teacup and he was just a mug ♪ 423 00:28:11,623 --> 00:28:13,614 ♪ The kettle on the hearth would sing to him ♪ ' 424 00:28:13,692 --> 00:28:16,126 ♪ A swoon y little spoon would ding to him ♪ 425 00:28:16,194 --> 00:28:18,685 ♪ A napkin even offered her ring to him ♪ 426 00:28:18,763 --> 00:28:20,754 ♪ But none of these girls meant a thing to him ♪ 427 00:28:21,766 --> 00:28:27,033 ♪ A sugar bowl, sweetest little soul wanted to console him ♪ 428 00:28:27,105 --> 00:28:31,633 ♪ Bu! he was set on just one goal and no one could control him ♪ 429 00:28:31,710 --> 00:28:36,773 ♪ There was a saucy saucer who met him at every meal ♪ 430 00:28:36,848 --> 00:28:40,978 ♪ She was a torso tosser with lots of sex appeal ♪ 431 00:28:41,052 --> 00:28:45,682 ♪ Our handsome hero spurned their love They could not make him stir ♪ 432 00:28:45,757 --> 00:28:51,252 ♪ Although they had the kind of charm that gentlemen prefer ♪ 433 00:28:51,329 --> 00:28:55,789 ♪ So all through the day, he'd peek up at somebody proud and smug ♪ 434 00:28:55,867 --> 00:29:00,804 ♪ She was a China teacup and he was just a mug ♪ ♪ 435 00:30:45,243 --> 00:30:47,609 Oh, there's Peggy Joyce. 436 00:30:47,679 --> 00:30:49,670 Peggy Joyce has-- Peggy Joyce- 437 00:30:55,620 --> 00:31:00,421 I can materialize anything anywhere at any time. 438 00:31:00,491 --> 00:31:03,085 The radiosco- 439 00:31:03,161 --> 00:31:06,187 The radioscope needs no broadcast station, 440 00:31:06,264 --> 00:31:09,791 and no-- no carrier waves are necessary. 441 00:31:09,868 --> 00:31:14,635 It is-- No electrical transmission is-- 442 00:31:26,217 --> 00:31:29,618 Goodness! Well! Uh! 443 00:31:29,687 --> 00:31:31,678 Hello below! 444 00:31:31,756 --> 00:31:35,590 Is this Kansas City, Kansas, or Kansas City, Missouri? 445 00:31:50,508 --> 00:31:52,999 Hey! Where am I? 446 00:31:53,077 --> 00:31:57,343 - Wu-Hu! - Whoo-hoo to you, sweetheart. 447 00:31:57,415 --> 00:32:01,283 - Hey, Charlie. Where am I? - Wu-Hu! 448 00:32:02,754 --> 00:32:04,745 Don't let the posy fool ya. 449 00:32:04,822 --> 00:32:06,756 Where am I? 450 00:32:06,824 --> 00:32:09,122 This is a roofgarden at the International House. 451 00:32:09,193 --> 00:32:12,321 Never mind the details. What town is it? 452 00:32:12,397 --> 00:32:14,627 This is Wu-Hu, China. 453 00:32:14,699 --> 00:32:17,497 - Then what am I doing here? - Well, how should I know? 454 00:32:17,568 --> 00:32:20,332 Well, what is Wu-Hu doing where Kansas City ought to be? 455 00:32:20,405 --> 00:32:22,669 Maybe you're lost. 456 00:32:22,740 --> 00:32:26,141 Kansas City is lost. I am here. 457 00:32:31,115 --> 00:32:34,482 Turn on those lights! 458 00:32:34,552 --> 00:32:37,043 Turn on the lights! Give us li-- 459 00:32:38,823 --> 00:32:41,223 Now can you see anything? 460 00:32:41,292 --> 00:32:43,385 Practically everything. 461 00:32:43,461 --> 00:32:45,588 Honored visitor, I welcome you. 462 00:32:45,663 --> 00:32:47,654 I was afraid you might not arrive. 463 00:32:47,732 --> 00:32:51,224 Here too. I ran out of the last bottle of beer just a minute ago. 464 00:32:51,302 --> 00:32:54,533 Now that you are here, honored American representative, 465 00:32:54,605 --> 00:32:58,006 will you deign to accept my unworthy hospitality? 466 00:32:58,076 --> 00:33:00,374 Make mine a small beer. 467 00:33:00,445 --> 00:33:03,141 Where will we park it, sweets? Over here. 468 00:33:05,049 --> 00:33:06,983 Why do you wear a silk hat? 469 00:33:07,051 --> 00:33:09,485 Lends dignity, my beauty. It lends dignity. 470 00:33:09,554 --> 00:33:11,886 Sit down. 471 00:33:11,956 --> 00:33:14,516 Sit down. Sit down. 472 00:33:18,763 --> 00:33:22,529 Ladies and gentlemen, my presence here is due to a slight error in navigation. 473 00:33:26,004 --> 00:33:29,201 I took the needle off my compass to darn a pair of socks. 474 00:33:29,273 --> 00:33:32,902 Since that time, I've been flying completely by ear. 475 00:33:32,977 --> 00:33:36,344 Waiter. For goodness sake. 476 00:33:36,414 --> 00:33:38,644 Well, sweet buttercup- 477 00:33:41,152 --> 00:33:43,143 Now that I'm here and see what's to be had, 478 00:33:43,221 --> 00:33:45,280 I shall dally in the valley. 479 00:33:45,356 --> 00:33:47,620 And believe me, I can dally. 480 00:33:47,692 --> 00:33:50,559 Oh. Not dally? You mean deli? 481 00:33:50,628 --> 00:33:52,562 Dally. No, it's deli. Look. 482 00:33:52,630 --> 00:33:56,691 ♪ Hi-ho, the derry-o the farmer in the deli ♪ ♪ It's deli. 483 00:33:56,768 --> 00:33:58,759 What's the penalty for murder in China? 484 00:33:58,836 --> 00:34:01,327 Oh, now, don't tell me. Let me think of the answer. 485 00:34:01,406 --> 00:34:04,204 Um-- Stop it. Stop it. What's on your mind? 486 00:34:04,275 --> 00:34:07,472 Well, Dr. Burns says there's a bone pressing on my brain. 487 00:34:07,545 --> 00:34:11,413 But it doesn't bother me. Really. Doesn't bother her. Daffy. 488 00:34:11,482 --> 00:34:16,681 Oh, that one goes, “Daffy down dilly, bats in the belfry, ding-dong.“ 489 00:34:16,754 --> 00:34:18,688 Now ask me another one. 490 00:34:18,756 --> 00:34:22,089 Oh, Professor, before you go to sleep, will you write me your autograph? 491 00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:25,391 I'd like to write your epitaph. 492 00:34:25,463 --> 00:34:28,159 And th-- 493 00:34:28,232 --> 00:34:31,224 There. Yeah. Oh, I can't see it. 494 00:34:31,302 --> 00:34:33,736 How unfortunate. 495 00:34:33,805 --> 00:34:35,739 You can see it now, can't you? 496 00:34:38,810 --> 00:34:42,906 Oh, look! Professor Quail, you forgot to cross the 497 00:34:42,980 --> 00:34:45,414 You're a silly man. 498 00:34:53,124 --> 00:34:55,149 That wren's cuckoo. 499 00:34:58,196 --> 00:35:00,221 Good gracious! Water. 500 00:35:02,366 --> 00:35:04,300 Pardon me. 501 00:35:10,074 --> 00:35:12,008 I was afraid that might be my husband. 502 00:35:12,076 --> 00:35:14,010 Husband? Divorced. 503 00:35:14,078 --> 00:35:16,876 Oh, then you're in a position to listen to a proposal. 504 00:35:16,948 --> 00:35:19,439 Allow me to offer my congratulations. 505 00:35:19,517 --> 00:35:21,451 Dr. Wong, Professor Quail. 506 00:35:21,519 --> 00:35:24,283 Oh. How, chief. 507 00:35:24,355 --> 00:35:26,289 Won't you join me in a glass of wine? 508 00:35:26,357 --> 00:35:28,587 You get in first, and, if there's room enough, I'll join you. 509 00:35:30,895 --> 00:35:34,353 - Ladies and gentlemen-- - I'll take a bottle of beer. 510 00:35:36,100 --> 00:35:38,625 I have a very unpleasant announcement to make. 511 00:35:38,703 --> 00:35:43,037 One of our guests, Mr. Thomas Nash, is ill. 512 00:35:43,107 --> 00:35:45,575 And Inspector Sun, the local health official, 513 00:35:45,643 --> 00:35:48,077 has seen fit to declare a quarantine. 514 00:35:48,146 --> 00:35:52,480 No one will be permitted to enter or leave the hotel until further notice. 515 00:35:52,550 --> 00:35:55,212 just a moment, please. 516 00:35:55,286 --> 00:35:57,220 Due to this unexpected situation, 517 00:35:57,288 --> 00:36:00,553 I shall postpone the demonstration of my radioscope... 518 00:36:00,625 --> 00:36:03,492 until 10:00 this evening in my suite. 519 00:36:06,430 --> 00:36:08,489 I've got to get to Hang Kong in the morning. 520 00:36:08,566 --> 00:36:11,933 Hadn't you better notify the consulate in Shanghai? 521 00:36:12,003 --> 00:36:15,097 By jove, the consulate. Of course. 522 00:36:30,855 --> 00:36:33,415 Professor, aren't you going to register? 523 00:36:33,491 --> 00:36:35,482 Yes. Where are you going to sleep tonight? 524 00:36:35,560 --> 00:36:39,428 I'm going to sleep on my right side with my mouth open. 525 00:36:39,497 --> 00:36:41,431 Wide open. 526 00:36:41,499 --> 00:36:44,263 I always sleep on my stomach. 527 00:36:44,335 --> 00:36:46,360 Don't you find it gets all wrinkled? 528 00:36:46,437 --> 00:36:50,066 Most amusing. Uh, if you can't get a room, 529 00:36:50,141 --> 00:36:53,372 will you share the hospitality of my apartment? 530 00:36:53,444 --> 00:36:57,141 Thanks. Do I hear any other offers? 531 00:36:57,215 --> 00:37:00,673 Here's your chance to have a laugh on every other girl in the world. 532 00:37:00,751 --> 00:37:03,686 Okay, sold to the gentleman with the wrinkled stomach. 533 00:37:03,754 --> 00:37:06,484 Well, I must get my portmanteau. 534 00:37:12,697 --> 00:37:17,862 Oh! Remarkable! 535 00:37:17,935 --> 00:37:22,463 But why? Why carry an automobile in an airplane? 536 00:37:22,540 --> 00:37:26,806 For side trips. Besides, the lighter in the plane would never work. 537 00:37:26,877 --> 00:37:28,811 So I bought this. 538 00:37:46,364 --> 00:37:49,697 Gangway, please. Gangway! Come on there. 539 00:37:49,767 --> 00:37:51,928 I've got to register. 540 00:37:52,003 --> 00:37:53,800 Are you there? 541 00:38:01,445 --> 00:38:04,039 What kind of a trap is this? 542 00:38:04,115 --> 00:38:06,811 Looks like a Chinese noodle swamp. 543 00:38:10,521 --> 00:38:13,149 Oh! Please! 544 00:38:34,312 --> 00:38:36,246 Hey, what kind of a hotel is this? 545 00:38:36,314 --> 00:38:41,581 Quarantine, foreigners, scratchy fountain pens. 546 00:38:44,488 --> 00:38:47,048 How am I gonna register? 547 00:38:48,125 --> 00:38:51,151 I'm the manager of this hotel. I wouldn't brag about it if I were you. 548 00:38:51,228 --> 00:38:55,289 -- We have no more rooms. The place is filled to capacity. 549 00:38:55,366 --> 00:38:58,426 Then where am I gonna sleep on my right side? 550 00:38:58,502 --> 00:39:01,869 I would suggest that you get in that windmill of yours and depart. 551 00:39:01,939 --> 00:39:06,103 Is it possible that I am not wanted in this flop joint? Undoubtedly. 552 00:39:06,177 --> 00:39:08,407 Gangway! Please! 553 00:39:09,547 --> 00:39:11,947 No rooms, hey? No. 554 00:39:12,016 --> 00:39:14,450 Oh! 555 00:39:14,518 --> 00:39:16,713 There you are. You brought it on yourself. You see? 556 00:39:22,026 --> 00:39:24,494 Oh! Young man, if you're not very careful, 557 00:39:24,562 --> 00:39:26,894 you're gonna lose my trade. 558 00:39:30,301 --> 00:39:32,565 Uncouth person. 559 00:39:32,636 --> 00:39:34,900 Manager! Manager! Yes, yes, yes, yes 560 00:39:34,972 --> 00:39:38,237 I have been unconnected. Get me Berlin. 561 00:39:38,309 --> 00:39:40,334 Oh, yes, yes. Mr. Brown? Yes, sir. 562 00:39:40,411 --> 00:39:42,436 Get the house electrician. No, get Berlin. 563 00:39:42,513 --> 00:39:45,107 Uh, Mr. Brown, no, no, no. Get Berlin. I can't get Berlin. 564 00:39:45,182 --> 00:39:47,116 Get Berlin! Get Germany! I can't get Berlin. 565 00:39:47,184 --> 00:39:49,118 Oh, get me a cup of tea. Yes, sir. 566 00:39:55,459 --> 00:39:58,155 I'll be a nervous wreck before this day is-- is over. I have never-- 567 00:39:58,229 --> 00:40:01,255 448. 518.Seven-- 568 00:40:01,332 --> 00:40:04,324 “Dear Mother, having a gorgeous time.“ Oh, my. What am I doing? 569 00:40:28,793 --> 00:40:32,695 Wait! Wait! Come back! I've gotta get in touch with Dr. Wong, and the phone's dead. 570 00:40:32,763 --> 00:40:36,790 All phones dead. Now, he's expecting me. l-l've got to get word to him. 571 00:40:36,867 --> 00:40:39,631 No can do. You're outta your head. Aw! 572 00:40:41,372 --> 00:40:43,499 Go back to bed. All right. 573 00:40:50,147 --> 00:40:52,809 Hey! Hey! Now, look here! 574 00:40:52,883 --> 00:40:55,511 Listen here, will ya? 575 00:41:07,431 --> 00:41:10,628 I must go in. My wife! My business! No one can enter. 576 00:41:10,701 --> 00:41:15,229 You were only supposed to quarantine one room, not the entire hotel. 577 00:41:15,306 --> 00:41:19,538 Whole hotel is quarantined. Where I'm going to sleep? 578 00:41:19,610 --> 00:41:22,443 The Lotus Garden is not quarantined. 579 00:41:26,383 --> 00:41:29,819 That's a horrible place. Terrible. 580 00:41:32,890 --> 00:41:36,121 And he was wearing a tall silk hat and carrying a cane. 581 00:41:36,193 --> 00:41:38,127 That's the man. The professor. 582 00:41:38,195 --> 00:41:40,993 He opened every door on my floor, and I insist upon something being done about it. 583 00:41:41,065 --> 00:41:44,660 You are quite right. Front! Front! Front, upstairs. 584 00:41:44,735 --> 00:41:47,135 Oh, Mr. Brown. Order me some tea. Yes, sir. 585 00:41:51,275 --> 00:41:54,005 Just so, just so, just so. 586 00:42:02,887 --> 00:42:05,754 What won't they think of next? 587 00:42:11,095 --> 00:42:14,656 It is now exactly 10:15, Chinese Standard Time. 588 00:42:14,732 --> 00:42:18,259 10:14. Correction, 10:14. 589 00:42:18,335 --> 00:42:22,999 You will now hear Ah-Fui and his manly mandarin. 590 00:42:23,073 --> 00:42:26,736 This is station PI, the voice of Long Tong. 591 00:43:58,268 --> 00:44:02,534 The voice of Long Tong signing off. Goodnight. 592 00:44:23,327 --> 00:44:27,855 Oh, it's you. What's your idea of bleating in my room that way? 593 00:44:27,931 --> 00:44:29,865 Your room? Yes, my room. 594 00:44:29,933 --> 00:44:32,959 Aren't you ashamed of yourself, arousing the entire hotel? 595 00:44:33,037 --> 00:44:34,766 Miss Joyce. 596 00:44:34,838 --> 00:44:38,069 There you are, you see? Now one of us has gotta get out. 597 00:44:38,142 --> 00:44:40,337 Will you hurry? 598 00:44:40,411 --> 00:44:42,879 I don't know how you got in here in the first place. 599 00:44:43,881 --> 00:44:47,248 Miss Joyce. Miss Joyce, are you quite safe? 600 00:44:47,317 --> 00:44:49,945 Just a minute, please. 601 00:44:50,020 --> 00:44:54,320 When the excitement dies down, I'll be right back, my little calliope. 602 00:44:56,927 --> 00:44:59,919 Don't forget. Tap on the window as soon as the chumps leave. 603 00:45:18,182 --> 00:45:21,777 Can't hit a moving target, eh? Gosh, what a shock. 604 00:45:22,853 --> 00:45:25,754 And now, ladies and gentlemen, 605 00:45:25,823 --> 00:45:28,917 the six-day bicycle race. 606 00:45:37,367 --> 00:45:40,825 My friend, your clothes. 607 00:45:40,904 --> 00:45:43,065 Huh? Yeah. Yeah, oh, yeah. 608 00:45:43,140 --> 00:45:45,665 That's the trouble of dressing on a dark fire escape. 609 00:45:49,046 --> 00:45:51,105 The lights. 610 00:46:20,744 --> 00:46:23,872 Well, Budd, I see you're still in the same old fog. 611 00:46:31,822 --> 00:46:34,086 Success at last. 612 00:46:34,158 --> 00:46:36,092 Huh? What's that? 613 00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:38,720 Don't you know what that is? That's my new directional alarm clock. 614 00:46:38,796 --> 00:46:41,560 You see, I turn the bell this way, and it wakes me up. 615 00:46:41,632 --> 00:46:44,032 And I turn it that way, and it wakes you up. 616 00:46:46,970 --> 00:46:49,632 This is my patented revolving goldfish bowl. 617 00:46:49,706 --> 00:46:53,733 Does, uh-- How does that work? Well, you put this thing on here like that, you see? 618 00:46:53,811 --> 00:46:57,713 That's for tired goldfish. The bow! revolves, so the fish doesn't have to swim. 619 00:46:59,183 --> 00:47:02,016 That's peachy. No, Stoopnocracy is peachy. 620 00:47:05,756 --> 00:47:10,056 The one-and-only Rudy Vallee, singing his latest song hit to his first love. 621 00:47:15,566 --> 00:47:18,763 ♪ Good night ♪ 622 00:47:18,836 --> 00:47:23,466 ♪ My heart and I are bidding you good night♪ 623 00:47:23,540 --> 00:47:27,977 ♪ I love you and because you love me too ♪ 624 00:47:28,045 --> 00:47:33,847 ♪ I pray and say thank heaven for you ♪ 625 00:47:34,952 --> 00:47:37,978 ♪ I'll dream ♪ 626 00:47:38,055 --> 00:47:42,754 ♪ And you will be in everything I dream ♪ 627 00:47:42,826 --> 00:47:47,058 ♪ The way you are in everything I do ♪ 628 00:47:47,130 --> 00:47:52,830 ♪ That's why I say thank heaven for you ♪ 629 00:47:54,738 --> 00:47:59,107 ♪ You are my own Just I alone; 630 00:47:59,176 --> 00:48:03,943 ♪ Caress you with tender fingertips ♪ 631 00:48:04,014 --> 00:48:08,280 ♪ When you are near true and sincere ♪ 632 00:48:08,352 --> 00:48:13,847 ♪ You bring a song to my lips ♪ 633 00:48:13,924 --> 00:48:17,052 ♪ So rest ♪ 634 00:48:17,127 --> 00:48:21,860 ♪ And if my prayers are answered you'll be blessed ♪ 635 00:48:21,932 --> 00:48:26,369 ♪ And I'll be blessed each night my whole life through ♪ 636 00:48:26,436 --> 00:48:33,501 ♪ And so I say thank heaven for you ♪ 637 00:48:33,577 --> 00:48:37,411 ♪ You are my own Just I alone ♪ 638 00:48:37,481 --> 00:48:42,316 ♪ ♪ They're stupefied. 639 00:48:42,386 --> 00:48:45,412 They're roasted. 640 00:48:45,489 --> 00:48:48,981 ♪ You bring a song to my heart ♪ 641 00:48:49,059 --> 00:48:51,823 How long's this dog fight been going on? 642 00:48:51,895 --> 00:48:56,389 Don't interrupt my number. Hold your tongue and sit down. 643 00:48:57,935 --> 00:49:01,962 Hold your breath and lie down, you howling hyena. ♪ ♪ 644 00:49:04,408 --> 00:49:06,842 ♪ And so I say ♪ You insist? 645 00:49:06,910 --> 00:49:11,540 ♪ Thank heaven for you ♪ ♪ 646 00:49:17,854 --> 00:49:19,788 My screen! 647 00:49:53,557 --> 00:49:58,119 Not a wink of sleep all night. Every time I closed my eyes, that pounding and cursing started. 648 00:49:58,195 --> 00:50:00,220 General Petronovich was locked out. 649 00:50:00,297 --> 00:50:04,324 There is no use lying. I, myself, through the window, saw everything. 650 00:50:04,401 --> 00:50:06,926 Everything? What do you mean, Nicky? 651 00:50:07,004 --> 00:50:09,336 Oh, he's not with me now. 652 00:50:09,406 --> 00:50:13,672 These American millionaires, they think money can buy anything. 653 00:50:13,744 --> 00:50:18,943 Nicky, did you say he's a millionaire? 654 00:50:19,016 --> 00:50:21,075 He is? 655 00:50:21,151 --> 00:50:25,451 I will take his throat in my hands... 656 00:50:25,522 --> 00:50:28,855 and I will squeeze and break-- 657 00:50:50,047 --> 00:50:51,981 Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo! 658 00:50:53,183 --> 00:50:55,117 Aw, shut up. 659 00:50:59,089 --> 00:51:01,683 You'll get swayback sleeping that way. 660 00:51:06,863 --> 00:51:08,854 Hey, “garçon? Bring me a drink. 661 00:51:08,932 --> 00:51:11,127 Water, sir? A little on the side. 662 00:51:11,201 --> 00:51:13,135 Very little. 663 00:51:13,203 --> 00:51:16,934 Did you get your magic lantern fixed last night after the navy sailed through it? 664 00:51:17,007 --> 00:51:20,704 It was quite simple. I merely inserted a new tube. 665 00:51:20,777 --> 00:51:23,268 Good idea. Ah, breakfast. 666 00:51:25,282 --> 00:51:28,376 Hello. Hello. 667 00:51:28,452 --> 00:51:33,480 Send me up a bird's nest and a couple of 100-year-old eggs boiled in perfume. 668 00:51:33,557 --> 00:51:37,721 - Good morning, Professor. - Oh, is that you, my little chrysan-- 669 00:51:37,794 --> 00:51:40,490 Chrysyanth-- Uh, my little hollyhock? 670 00:51:40,564 --> 00:51:43,328 - How are you feeling? - I feel like a million dollars. 671 00:51:43,400 --> 00:51:45,368 Excuse me. 672 00:51:45,435 --> 00:51:49,030 I'm getting rather bored here. Aren't you? 673 00:51:49,106 --> 00:51:53,668 Why don't we leave... together? In your autogyro. 674 00:51:53,743 --> 00:51:57,770 Okay. I'll be right down as soon as I take off these pajamas. 675 00:52:02,052 --> 00:52:06,011 Wongy, you old silkworm, you're on your own. I'm leaving. 676 00:52:06,089 --> 00:52:08,887 Surely not before you offer a bid for the radioscope. 677 00:52:08,959 --> 00:52:10,893 Bid? 678 00:52:10,961 --> 00:52:13,361 You're representing the American Electric Company? 679 00:52:13,430 --> 00:52:15,523 Never heard of them. 680 00:52:15,599 --> 00:52:17,590 Ah. 681 00:52:32,949 --> 00:52:34,883 Thank you. 682 00:52:41,591 --> 00:52:43,525 You may inform the visiting representatives... 683 00:52:43,593 --> 00:52:47,461 that I will accept sealed bids from them today. Yes, master. 684 00:52:47,531 --> 00:52:52,366 It is the law. I tell you, Inspector. I haven't got the measles. 685 00:52:52,435 --> 00:52:56,201 The truth is I'm not sick at all. I feel well. I eat well. 686 00:52:56,273 --> 00:52:58,332 And you sleep well. I sleep well. 687 00:52:58,408 --> 00:53:01,377 I said that. You've said too much. 688 00:53:01,444 --> 00:53:05,778 I didn't say too much. I just said you sleep well. 689 00:53:05,849 --> 00:53:11,014 Yeah. I don't feel like dancing, Mr. Nash. 690 00:53:11,087 --> 00:53:14,181 Well, big and little casino in the same trick. 691 00:53:14,257 --> 00:53:16,691 Your play. 692 00:53:16,760 --> 00:53:19,991 Yes, play a card. What card? 693 00:53:20,063 --> 00:53:22,759 Why is it that everything always happens to me? 694 00:53:22,832 --> 00:53:24,823 Oh, hello, Doctor. Oh, hello. How'; the patient? 695 00:53:24,901 --> 00:53:26,835 Oh, I'm fine, thank you. How are you, Doctor? 696 00:53:26,903 --> 00:53:29,770 No, no. How is the patient? How is the patient? 697 00:53:29,839 --> 00:53:33,866 Now, isn't that funny? it's sounds just like you're saying, “How is the patient?” 698 00:53:33,944 --> 00:53:36,378 - Play a card. - Oh, cards. 699 00:53:36,446 --> 00:53:38,641 Oh, I know a wonderful trick. 700 00:53:38,715 --> 00:53:41,206 Now, may l borrow your handkerchief? 701 00:53:41,284 --> 00:53:44,879 Oh, you'll love this trick. Is this a good trick? 702 00:53:44,955 --> 00:53:47,048 Oh, sure. My brother showed me this trick. Oh, your brother. 703 00:53:47,123 --> 00:53:49,057 Yes. Which one, the half-wit? 704 00:53:49,125 --> 00:53:51,218 No, the older one. Oh, the big fella, yeah. 705 00:53:51,294 --> 00:53:54,058 Yeah. Now, may I borrow your scissors? 706 00:53:54,130 --> 00:53:56,098 I'm sorry. 707 00:53:56,166 --> 00:53:59,329 Well, that's the finish of that. Look-- No, I have a surprise for you. 708 00:53:59,402 --> 00:54:01,734 I have a scissors. I was expecting that too. 709 00:54:01,805 --> 00:54:04,205 Take that, Doctor. Now, will you cut right through the center? 710 00:54:04,274 --> 00:54:06,902 Wait a minute. Now don't be afraid. 711 00:54:06,977 --> 00:54:09,707 I know what I'm doing. Cut. 712 00:54:09,779 --> 00:54:11,770 Cut right through the center. Yes. 713 00:54:11,848 --> 00:54:15,045 Well, just so you know what you're doing. 714 00:54:15,118 --> 00:54:17,484 Here you go. Yeah. Now. 715 00:54:17,554 --> 00:54:20,853 This, um-- Uh, th-- 716 00:54:20,924 --> 00:54:25,258 Oh, I wish my brother was here. 717 00:54:25,328 --> 00:54:28,991 Th-- Oh, can you imagine? 718 00:54:29,065 --> 00:54:31,863 I did it wrong. Come here. Come here. 719 00:54:53,189 --> 00:54:56,886 And now the six-day bicycle race. 720 00:54:59,963 --> 00:55:03,831 We will now hear Baby Rose Marie, one of radio's youngest and hottest entertainers. 721 00:55:14,711 --> 00:55:18,977 Oh, June is here and skies are clear 722 00:55:19,049 --> 00:55:22,246 ♪ And bright ♪ 723 00:55:22,319 --> 00:55:26,119 ♪ Not for me for I don't see ♪ 724 00:55:26,189 --> 00:55:29,625 ♪ The light ♪ 725 00:55:29,693 --> 00:55:31,957 ♪ To me the music of the birds in the trees ♪ 726 00:55:32,028 --> 00:55:35,191 ♪ Doesn't mean anything ♪ 727 00:55:35,265 --> 00:55:39,133 ♪ I'm so low that I don't know ♪ 728 00:55:39,202 --> 00:55:41,136 ♪ It's spring ♪ 729 00:55:42,739 --> 00:55:47,301 ♪ I heard a bluebird singin' one day♪ 730 00:55:47,377 --> 00:55:51,177 ♪ He seemed the messenger of happy news ♪ 731 00:55:51,247 --> 00:55:54,910 ♪ He filled the air above with a song of love ♪ 732 00:55:54,984 --> 00:55:58,420 ♪ And I'm the river singin' the blues ♪ 733 00:55:58,488 --> 00:56:02,015 ♪ A pair of blue eyes wandered my way ♪ 734 00:56:02,092 --> 00:56:06,222 ♪ And how was I to know I'd love and lose ♪ 735 00:56:06,296 --> 00:56:10,062 ♪ But now my bluebird's nest is a blackbirds rest ♪ 736 00:56:10,133 --> 00:56:14,399 ♪ And my bluebird's singin' the blues ♪ 737 00:56:14,471 --> 00:56:17,963 ♪ I was a dumb one Love was blind ♪ 738 00:56:18,041 --> 00:56:22,341 ♪ Or maybe I should blame it on the moon ♪ 739 00:56:22,412 --> 00:56:25,677 ♪ A certain someone changed his mind ♪ 740 00:56:25,749 --> 00:56:28,684 ;And my bluebird changed his tune ♪ 741 00:56:28,752 --> 00:56:32,210 ♪ All my blue skies seem to be gray ♪ 742 00:56:32,288 --> 00:56:36,247 ♪ And I packed away my dancing shoes ♪ 743 00:56:36,326 --> 00:56:40,126 ♪ Because my big romance was a song and dance ♪ 744 00:56:40,196 --> 00:56:43,029 ♪ And my bluebird's singin' the blues ♪ 745 00:56:44,167 --> 00:56:47,466 ♪ I was a dumb one Love was blind ♪ 746 00:56:47,537 --> 00:56:51,997 ♪ Or maybe I should blame it on the moon ♪ 747 00:56:52,075 --> 00:56:55,442 ♪ A certain someone changed his mind ♪ 748 00:56:55,512 --> 00:56:58,709 ♪ And my bluebird changed his tune ♪ 749 00:56:58,782 --> 00:57:03,014 ♪ And my blue skies seem to be gray ♪ 750 00:57:03,086 --> 00:57:06,749 ♪ And I packed away my dancing shoes ♪ 751 00:57:06,823 --> 00:57:12,125 ♪ Because my big romance was a song and dance ♪ 752 00:57:12,195 --> 00:57:15,392 ♪ That's why my ♪ 753 00:57:15,465 --> 00:57:19,162 ♪ Bluebird is singing ♪ 754 00:57:19,235 --> 00:57:25,435 ♪ The blues ♪ ♪ 755 00:57:25,508 --> 00:57:28,033 Splendid. Quite amusing. 756 00:57:28,111 --> 00:57:31,012 I shall be the first to present a bid for the rights. 757 00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:36,279 You are the last. The other representatives have all submitted sealed bids. 758 00:57:37,687 --> 00:57:40,155 We will batter down the doors. 759 00:57:40,223 --> 00:57:44,216 And the more resistance you encounter, the more money I will pay you. 760 00:57:44,294 --> 00:57:47,457 Shh! 761 00:57:47,530 --> 00:57:51,432 Once we're in the hotel, I will kill... 762 00:57:51,501 --> 00:57:55,301 that loose-living American jackal scoundrel. 763 00:57:55,371 --> 00:57:57,305 Come on. 764 00:58:02,612 --> 00:58:05,581 I beg your pardon. I don't think I've had the pleasure-- 765 00:58:05,648 --> 00:58:08,913 Nash. Tommy Nash, representing the American Electric Company. 766 00:58:08,985 --> 00:58:10,953 Welcome, my friend. What detained you? 767 00:58:11,020 --> 00:58:13,921 It's a sad story, Doctor. Am I too late to submit a bid? 768 00:58:13,990 --> 00:58:16,550 Not at all. But first, don't you want a demonstration? 769 00:58:16,626 --> 00:58:18,560 Great. 770 00:58:19,996 --> 00:58:23,193 Now with a hi-dee-hi and a ho-dee-ho, 771 00:58:23,266 --> 00:58:25,496 Cab Calloway and His Harlem Maniacs... 772 00:58:25,568 --> 00:58:28,662 present a flaming bit of heated Harlem harmony. 773 00:58:31,774 --> 00:58:34,174 Why, what's the matter with this cat here? He's high. 774 00:58:34,244 --> 00:58:36,007 What do you mean he's high? Full of weed. 775 00:58:36,079 --> 00:58:37,307 Full of weed? Yeah. 776 00:58:37,380 --> 00:58:39,575 Who is this cat anyway? That's the reefer man. 777 00:58:39,649 --> 00:58:40,980 The reefer man? Yeah. 778 00:58:41,050 --> 00:58:43,348 Why, look at that dog. He looks like he's losing his mind. 779 00:58:43,419 --> 00:58:45,751 He done lost his mind. Done lost his mind? 780 00:58:45,822 --> 00:58:47,983 Yeah. Come on. Let's get away from here then. 781 00:59:05,074 --> 00:59:08,441 ♪ Have you ever met that funny reefer man ♪ ♪ Reefer man ♪ 782 00:59:08,511 --> 00:59:11,412 ♪ Have you ever met that funny reefer man ♪ ♪ Reefer man ♪ 783 00:59:11,481 --> 00:59:14,678 ♪ If he says he swam to China wants to sell you South Carolina ♪ 784 00:59:14,751 --> 00:59:17,686 ♪ Then you know you're talking to that reefer man ♪ ♪ Reefer man ♪ 785 00:59:17,754 --> 00:59:20,848 ♪ Have you ever met that funny reefer man ♪ ♪ Reefer man ♪ 786 00:59:20,924 --> 00:59:23,950 ♪ Oh, that funny, funny funny reefer man ♪ ♪ Reefer man ♪ 787 00:59:24,027 --> 00:59:27,463 ♪ If he trades you dimes for nickels he says watermelons are pickles ♪ 788 00:59:27,530 --> 00:59:30,055 ♪ You know you're talking to that reefer man ♪ ♪ Reefer man ♪ 789 00:59:30,133 --> 00:59:33,830 ♪ Oh, have you ever met that funny reefer man ♪ ♪ Reefer man ♪ 790 00:59:33,903 --> 00:59:36,394 ♪ Oh, that funny, funny funny reefer man ♪ ♪ Reefer man ♪ 791 00:59:36,472 --> 00:59:40,568 ♪ He smokes a reefer, he gets high then he flies to the sky ♪ 792 00:59:40,643 --> 00:59:42,770 ♪ That funny, funny funny reefer man ♪ ♪ 793 01:00:17,180 --> 01:00:19,114 Take your time, son. Take your time now. 794 01:00:19,182 --> 01:00:23,482 Pat that thing slightly, lightly and politely. 795 01:00:23,553 --> 01:00:26,522 Why, that cat's still high. Yeah, man. 796 01:00:26,589 --> 01:00:28,614 It's wonderful. 797 01:00:28,691 --> 01:00:31,990 Inspector Sun, how-- how is the patient? 798 01:00:32,061 --> 01:00:34,996 Uh, hello. No, I can't see you now. Uh-- Uh-- Oh. 799 01:00:35,064 --> 01:00:38,397 Oh, get out. Get out. How's the-- the patient? 800 01:00:38,468 --> 01:00:41,960 Perfectly well. He has nothing but harmless rash. 801 01:00:42,038 --> 01:00:44,973 Uh-- Nothing but a harmless rash? 802 01:00:45,041 --> 01:00:47,703 Then I suppose the quarantine will be lifted? 803 01:00:47,777 --> 01:00:50,905 At once. You may open the doors. 804 01:00:50,980 --> 01:00:54,814 Open the doors? That's fine. Now we'll have a little peace and quiet. 805 01:00:54,884 --> 01:00:59,719 I wanted your company to have my invention all along. I am so happy. 806 01:00:59,789 --> 01:01:02,053 Ah, maybe you think I'm not, Doctor. 807 01:01:02,125 --> 01:01:06,824 And now we shall see the six-day bicycle race. 808 01:01:13,503 --> 01:01:16,734 Ah! I've got it! 809 01:01:20,943 --> 01:01:23,673 We are now signing off at the end of a six-day bicycle race. 810 01:01:23,746 --> 01:01:26,647 Oh, it is too late. 811 01:01:26,716 --> 01:01:28,479 Open the doors. 812 01:01:40,396 --> 01:01:44,856 Please! Please! Is this anyway to enter a first-class hotel? 813 01:01:44,934 --> 01:01:48,199 Has Dr. Wong sold the rights to his machine to anyone? 814 01:01:48,271 --> 01:01:50,637 I don't know, and I don't care! But I care! 815 01:01:50,707 --> 01:01:56,236 If anyone has bought it, he shall not leave with it. 816 01:01:56,312 --> 01:01:59,543 No one can double-cross Petronovich. Yes. 817 01:01:59,615 --> 01:02:02,106 Cover all the exits, men. Allow no one to leave. 818 01:02:10,393 --> 01:02:13,294 ♪ Yeah, all lies, love ♪ ♪ 819 01:02:16,699 --> 01:02:18,633 I'll wire you where to send the luggage. 820 01:02:18,701 --> 01:02:21,135 Here, missy. Thank you. 821 01:02:24,941 --> 01:02:28,638 Ah, your car is waiting, my luscious little lollipop. 822 01:02:28,711 --> 01:02:30,975 Smart idea of yours. The only kind I have. 823 01:02:32,048 --> 01:02:33,982 When I was shooting sheep in the Himalayas-- 824 01:02:34,050 --> 01:02:35,984 Pardon me. Excuse me. 825 01:02:36,052 --> 01:02:38,714 Drat those 100-year-old eggs. 826 01:02:40,289 --> 01:02:45,420 Well, my little Laplander, we must be shooting along now. 827 01:02:45,495 --> 01:02:48,157 You're looking wonderful. 828 01:02:48,231 --> 01:02:50,461 Gorgeous. 829 01:02:50,533 --> 01:02:53,730 Ravishing. Beautiful. 830 01:02:55,138 --> 01:02:57,106 Stunning. Stunning. 831 01:03:00,676 --> 01:03:04,669 I'm sitting on something. I lost mine in the stock market. 832 01:03:06,182 --> 01:03:08,116 Oh. 833 01:03:08,184 --> 01:03:10,982 What's that? Sounds like a body squeak. 834 01:03:11,053 --> 01:03:14,420 It does? I got it. Here it is here. 835 01:03:14,490 --> 01:03:17,186 What are you doing? Uh, one of the nuts are loose, dear. 836 01:03:17,260 --> 01:03:19,592 What did you say? One of the nuts. 837 01:03:19,662 --> 01:03:22,222 The what? The nuts. 838 01:03:22,298 --> 01:03:24,994 What? Nuts! Nuts! Nuts! 839 01:03:25,067 --> 01:03:27,001 Oh, don't lose your temper about it. 840 01:03:27,069 --> 01:03:29,469 I'm not losing my temper, my little fuzzy wish-wash. 841 01:03:29,539 --> 01:03:32,531 I'm merely telling you one of the nuts are loose. 842 01:03:32,608 --> 01:03:35,406 We shan't be long now. 843 01:03:35,478 --> 01:03:38,413 What are you feeling about for? The button. The starter button. 844 01:03:38,481 --> 01:03:40,711 Oh. Yes, here. We have it here. 845 01:03:40,783 --> 01:03:44,378 Comfortable little car, isn't it? Mm-hmm. 846 01:03:44,453 --> 01:03:47,115 Huh? I hadn't figured on that. 847 01:03:47,190 --> 01:03:50,387 This car used to belong to the postmaster general. 848 01:03:51,594 --> 01:03:54,119 Ah, here we are now. Here we go. 849 01:03:57,300 --> 01:04:00,895 Shan't be long now, my little fuzzy fuchsia. 850 01:04:15,384 --> 01:04:18,353 Here we are, my ravishing little pineapple. 851 01:04:18,421 --> 01:04:20,514 That wiggle of yours is becoming marvelous. 852 01:04:20,590 --> 01:04:22,581 I tell you. I'm sitting on something. 853 01:04:22,658 --> 01:04:24,683 You're sitting on something? 854 01:04:24,760 --> 01:04:28,093 Where are you, my little Mexican jumping bean? Where are you? 855 01:04:28,164 --> 01:04:30,098 I'm up here in the fresh air. Come on up. 856 01:04:30,166 --> 01:04:32,430 Somethings under me. What is it? I don't know. 857 01:04:32,501 --> 01:04:34,799 I'll go down and investigate. 858 01:04:38,507 --> 01:04:40,873 Ooh! Upsy-daisy. 859 01:04:40,943 --> 01:04:44,504 Ah, it's a pussy. Oh, the poor thing. 860 01:04:44,580 --> 01:04:47,515 Worry not, my little titmouse. 861 01:04:47,583 --> 01:04:50,177 He still has eight more lives to go. 862 01:04:50,253 --> 01:04:53,654 There you are, pussy. Run away now. [Petronovich Ahai! 863 01:04:58,227 --> 01:05:00,161 Hello. Have you a match? 864 01:05:00,229 --> 01:05:02,288 Oh, I guess you haven't one. Okay. 865 01:05:07,069 --> 01:05:10,596 Nicky! What have you been doing? 866 01:05:10,673 --> 01:05:13,506 Uh-oh. Why, the professor's been entertaining me. 867 01:05:13,576 --> 01:05:17,876 Hmm, darling, my little scanty-panty, your skirt. 868 01:05:19,415 --> 01:05:21,349 Oh! 869 01:05:37,500 --> 01:05:40,401 Gangway, please. Gangway! 870 01:05:40,469 --> 01:05:42,198 Downstairs! Downstairs! 871 01:05:43,339 --> 01:05:46,365 Come on. I've gotta get outta here. We're going to Shanghai. Tommy! 872 01:05:46,442 --> 01:05:48,842 We're gonna be married. But how can we? 873 01:05:48,911 --> 01:05:52,278 Professor Quail, contract for radioscope. Tell you all about it. 874 01:06:01,123 --> 01:06:03,614 So, you wanna play, hey? 875 01:06:05,528 --> 01:06:08,861 Whoo-hoo! 876 01:06:18,607 --> 01:06:20,370 This is the worst experience I've ever-- 877 01:06:26,615 --> 01:06:29,448 I fooled ya that time, didn't I? 878 01:06:29,518 --> 01:06:32,612 - Hey! Hey, Professor! - I'll show you! 879 01:06:41,630 --> 01:06:44,531 Young man, you've saved my life. Now what can I do for you? 880 01:06:44,600 --> 01:06:46,534 Take us to Shanghai. 881 01:06:46,602 --> 01:06:48,570 I'll drop you there on my way to Kansas City. 882 01:06:50,339 --> 01:06:53,001 Come on, Professor! Come on! 883 01:06:58,414 --> 01:07:00,177 Press the button! Press the button! 884 01:07:23,205 --> 01:07:25,298 I'm sitting on something. 885 01:07:25,374 --> 01:07:27,342 What, again? Yes. 886 01:07:27,410 --> 01:07:30,675 I tell you. I'm sitting on something. 887 01:07:30,746 --> 01:07:32,839 Get up, my little cupcake. 888 01:07:39,021 --> 01:07:41,182 I wonder what their parents were. 889 01:07:41,257 --> 01:07:44,192 Careless, my little nut cake. Careless. 890 01:07:44,260 --> 01:07:46,888 Whoo-hoo!